Hello my dear friends! And a happy Monday to you all.
Weekend Recap: I flew to Tulsa with my CO Bestie to meet up with my OK Bestie for a double dose of Hanson. Back to back concerts for their new album – and they did not disappoint. I made an attempt to ninja-stalk them after the concert… but so did about a hundred other ladies. So the quest for a Hanson selfie continues. But I did manage to meet and selfie with Andrew, the bassist, who always seems to look like he’s having the most fun on stage. So not a total loss.
And today we have new publication news! “From Beyond the Rainbow Bridge” is available for pre-order! This is a short story for the slightly supernatural collection of Dogwood stories. There are ghosts and fortune tellers and dogs and romance – but mine was more personal than all that, actually. My short story is inspired by an actual event that happened not even a year ago.
On Christmas Eve eve of 2020, I lost my soul-sharing squishy baby, Cassandra. She was my spirit animal and my familiar, and I loved her more than pretty much anything. She was a special needs kitty who stole my heart from day one, when I walked by her cage in the pet store as I was going to check my schedule. I saw this ridiculous fluffy furball with giant eyes, and I immediately turned around to go back to the car to ask my mom to help me with the adoption fee, because this kitty had to come home with me.
For fifteen years she was a loving purr-machine that reminded me no matter what, someone loved me more than unconditionally.
Early in 2020, the issues began. It started with diabetes, and got worse from there. In the end, it seemed everything just got out of whack, with no way to put things back – so I had to make the decision to help her over the bridge. It was the hardest decision I’ve had to make thus far in my life. I was willing to throw literally all my money and possessions at the vets for them to fix her, but they couldn’t. Keeping her around would have been selfish on my part, and painful on her part.
Knowing all this did not make it an easier decision to make, nor has it made it any easier to forgive myself for doing.
But three nights later, I had the most vivid dream of my life. In general, I don’t remember dreams – I’m far too busy sleeping to dream. But this dream was different. This dream was more real than anything else I can remember. It was just home, it was just life, Husband and I in the kitchen, and Husband looked over and said, “Look. It’s ghost kitty.” Like it was the most normal thing in the world. And there she was, my beautiful soul of a kitty, walking in like nothing was different. I remember it so well. I remember picking her up like only I could ever do. I remember how soft she felt. I remember the vibration of her purring. I remember the sound of it. I felt it all.
I woke up crying, but feeling more settled in my life without her.
I told Husband about this dream, and he recalled a similar dream he’d had when his dog had passed away. He looked me dead in the eye and told me that that dream was Cassandra’s way of telling me it was okay. That she was okay. She was fine where she was, and she held no hard feelings about the decision I made. She still loved me, and would love me until I joined her on the other side.
“From Beyond the Rainbow Bridge” was my therapeutic processing of this entire episode. It was not easy to write, but I needed it. And sad though it may be, it ends with hope. How’s it go in A Knight’s Tale?
With hope. Love should end with hope… Hope guides me, it is what gets me through the day, and especially through the night…
So grab a box of tissues, but know that you will giggle a little too, because I can’t not be a bit weird and cheeky. Laughter is the best medicine, afterall.
