THE HEROES
Monday, Monday, Monday!
This was an insane weekend for me. We finally moved into my unicorn of a house, and we are officially living there now! Yay! Albeit, we’re living out of boxes and large black trash bags – but hopefully after next weekend it’ll be more settled and homey.
But, there is always still time for musings! Finishing the month on the same theme of interviewing my characters. Some of them, anyway. Those in #KissMeKieran are not totally happy with me for leaving them out… but they don’t live in a dystopian future. It seemed weird to have Tree and Chaos talking to Maxxe. What would they even talk about?!
…what would they talk about?
Another time, perhaps, Today’s interviewees are the Heroes! I feel like this has to go okay. My heroes are great, great guys. I’m excited about this one. Let’s go!
Me: Gentlemen, I’m so happy it’s your turn.
Caine: You could’ve done us at any time. It was your choice to wait this long.
Me: ::short pause:: True… saving the best for last, I suppose.
Caine: Great answer!
Me: Okay, let’s start with introductions. To you and your world.
Caine: You got it. I’m Caine O’Shea. I live in New Hope with Tree, fightin’ vampires and zombies and such. It’s pretty alright.
Michael: I am Michael. Archangel of heaven, and leader of the angel brigade. We’ve been warring for almost an eternity with the princes of hell and their demon minions.
Caine: Whoa, demons? ::looks at me:: Better or worse than vampires?
Me: Uh, I don’t know. I never stopped to think about it.
Michael: Demons are worse.
Caine: You’ve never had to deal with a vampire, how would you know?
Michael: I’ve been alive since before the birth of your world.
Caine: ::stares, unimpressed:: Yeah? And?
Michael: And I have witnessed more than your human mind can ever imagine.
Caine: Yeah? So? You ever seen a vampire?
Michael: Well, no, but-
Caine: Thought not.
Me: This isn’t a contest. Demons eat people, just like zombies and vampires. It all sucks. You’re both heroes. That’s why you’re here.
Caine: ::whispering:: All he’s got is demons. I’ve got vampires and fubars.
Me: ::glares at him:: I’ve been asking the others about their favorite quotes. Do you two have one?
Caine: “The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him.” Machiavelli.
Me: ::stared open mouthed::
Caine: What? Burt made me read it. But I liked this. I remembered it.
Me: ::nods head, impressed:: Michael, do you have a quote that you appreciate?
Michael: I don’t really read human works, but Chaos once said something that made me smile.
Me: Okay, that counts, I suppose.
Michael: She informed me that there are only two types of people: morning people, and people who just want to destroy morning people. So far, I’ve found this is true.
Me ::laughing:: I can also verify the validity in that.
Caine: So can I.
Me: This is great. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Caine: Ridin’ the horses. Man, I love when you can get enough space to let a horse have its way. It’s the most freein’ feelin’ in the world. Wind in your hair, nothin’ but you and the pounding of hooves. It’s glorious.
Me: Tree said something very similar, actually.
Caine: Yeah, she would. How about you, Michael? What do angels enjoy?
Michael: Archangel. And I like training with the attendants.
Me: That doesn’t sound all that fun,
Michael: It is if you’re an angel.
Me: Yeah, I guess I could see that. Poor humans…
Michael: Yes.
Me: Alright, so how about-
Finn: What the bloody hell is happenin’ in here?
Me: ::Freeze in place, because I hope that, like a T-rex, if I don’t move, he won’t notice me::
Damien: There does seem to be a misunderstanding. I heard the heroes were being interviewed today.
Caine: They are.
Damien: Then I’m glad I arrived on time.
Caine: You’re not on time, you’re interruptin’.
Finn: You can’t have a Hero Interview if I’m still pullin’ weeds in the garden. Michael, everyone knows I’m the hero.
Michael: It is impossible for everyone to know anything.
Finn: Don’t go gettin’ all smart-mouthed with me.
Caine: Who are you?
Finn: Finnegan DeBrun. Who the bloody hell are you?
Caine: ::reaches over to shake his hand:: Caine O’Shea. Great to hear another normal accent.
Finn: Same. Of course, all the Irish are heroes.
Damien: Not all heroes are Irish.
Caine: You’re not a hero, bloodsucker!
Finn: Bloodsucker?
Caine: Yeah, we have vampires. He’s one of them.
Finn: You want some help disposin’ of him?
Caine: That’d be great.
Michael: Finnegan, he is not a demon, therefore you will not dispose of him.
Finn: You’re on my shit list at the moment, Michael.
Michael: Shit list?
Damien: It means he’s angry with you. ::turns to me:: Why weren’t all the heroes invited to this interview?
Me: Uh… well… see, it’s like this. Four is an awful lot to keep track of, so I was just… just starting with the original heroes.
Damien: Original heroes?
Me: ::gulping:: Yeah, the… the first hero that the heroines knew first. Tree knew Caine first, and Chaos met Michael first. It has nothing to do with who’s more hero-y than whom. It was just a timing thing.
Finn: Oh, sure, yeah, a timing thing. ::turns back to Caine:: Does she like the vampire?
Caine: Well, she wrote him, so I imagine she likes him a bit.
Finn: Let’s off him.
Me: What?! No! Leave Damien alone.
Damien: I’m perfectly capable of dealing with two idiots on my own.
Me: No! Damien! You don’t get to hurt them either!
Damien: Watch me.
Caine: Bring it on.
Finn: Two against one.
Damien: That’s just how I like it.
Me: Please stop! You’re supposed to be the reasonable ones. The gentlemen. The heroes! You can’t just fight like this. No! Caine! You put your Crocodile Dundee knife away! Finn! No! No swords! ::turns to Michael:: Help me, huh?
Michael: The Father gave all his creatures free will. I will not impose.
Me: I’m not The Father, I’m the author, and I said no! Finn… no… drop it! Okay friends, this still has gone completely awry – Caine! Let go of his shirt! – I have to go.
