Introvert

/intrəˌvərt/

Noun

a shy, reticent person

According to Urban Dictionary (which is probably used almost as often as dear old Webster these days…)

An introvert prefers to spend time alone in order to recharge their inner being. An introvert may appear to be shy to others, but that is not necessarily an accurate label. Being among groups of friends, family and even strangers can be wonderfully stimulating and joyous occasions. Interacting with people and attention to multiple sources of stimuli tends to draw down an introvert’s energy causing them to eventually withdraw to spend time alone to re-energize. Small talk and pointless conversations tend to draw down an introvert’s energy rapidly.

An introvert enjoys time alone without unwanted distractions and stimulation in order to recharge their inner strength.

#shy #introvert #rude #wallflower #snob

I am an introvert. I am an extroverted introvert, sure, but I definitely fall into the above definition. I can function just fine in groups, but it’s not my favorite thing to do, and sometimes it’s hard. I’m married to a very extroverted extrovert, and whereas we love and respect each other, we do not always understand each other. I know that my husband needs to be around people to feel fulfilled, and he knows that I sometimes need to sit alone and stare at a wall – but neither of us can fully understand the why.

I will never feel energized by being in a crowd. I will never have the desire to center myself in every conversation. I will never seek out more activities than are already on my calendar. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t like being social.

This is actually where being married to the extrovert is a mega-bonus for this Uber Introvert.

I am always a whiner and a near killjoy in the hours leading up to socializing. Introverts are pretty much always okay when plans fall through, and aren’t averse to cancelling things on their own. So living with someone who needs the social interaction has gotten me to a lot more parties and events and game nights than other introverts might. He’s opened me up to a much larger world, because he has such a wide network of friends with an even wider network of interests.

I play more board games than most people have even heard of. I have Classic Movie nights with friends. I run through obstacles and play in the mud with coworkers and gym buddies. I dance and go to movies and concerts and dinner theater. I do so much more, thanks to the extrovert in my life, than I ever did when I lived alone. And whereas yes, it is totally exhausting for me, I have the best times. I have some of the greatest memories with the people brought into my life by my social butterfly husband, and I wouldn’t trade them in for anything.

Except maybe my own island with a personal chef and shopper…

What?! I’d let my friends come visit!

A Few Guidelines for the Care and Feeding of the Introvert in Your Life

If we “shut down”, don’t take it personally. It’s not you, we’ve just hit our socialization quota, and are out of energy. We’ll go quiet and maybe a little distant, and that’s fine. We are not judging you, we’re just good listeners. We are not bored or annoyed or zoning out. We like observing. We’re just taking it all in and we’ll share our thoughts when it feels appropriate.
If we cancel or decline an invitation, it is NOT because of you. It is because we’ve hit a wall, and we need to not “people” for some time so that we can recharge our battery. For us, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating.
Give us advance notice of things and we’ll be more likely to be there. Going out and socializing takes real mental planning and emotional preparation, so when you spring it on us, it takes double the effort to make it through. And sometimes, we just can’t manage the effort for an outing. No offense. But please keep inviting us to things, with as much notice as possible, because we have a wonderful time when we’re psyched up for it.
Understand that if we never call you, it’s because we have a deep and eternal hatred of talking on the phone. Texts or emails or IMs are how we connect.
Please recognize that if we make plans with you, it’s because you’re important, and we are willing to spend some of our “mojo” to be around you. That means something from us. We may not be the best at expressing ourselves, or reaching out to tell you how awesome you are, but if we actually want to hang out with you, it’s a high compliment.